What's in a Name?
by fiercesunshine
Summary: XigDem. Xigbar's pretty content with the whole not-having-emotions thing, but after he recruits Demyx, he starts questioning his non-existence. Demyx, meanwhile, is trying to show the Freeshooter that maybe 'Nobody' is just a word. ON HIATUS.
1. Boredom

**What's in a Name?**

**Chapter One: **Boredom

**Author's Note:** Welcome, ladies and gents, to What's in a Name?, the story I was writing before Falling came along. If you're a diehard Falling fan, don't worry – this shouldn't take away from Falling, as I have about nine chapters done with this one.

The first few chapters are in Xigbar's point of view, and I know that his accent is virtually nonexistent, but I'm not very good with accents x.x I'm hoping it improves as the story continues on, though it probably won't with the narrative much, just the dialogue.

Anyway, it **is** a XigDem (and therefore there will be two males who are romantically/physically involved – if you don't like it, then don't read it), but there will probably be hints of several other pairings within the Organization. It's rated for the future, because I enjoy bad words and so does Xigbar (and he may be enjoying other things, too, though I'm not promising anything.) With that, enjoy the first chapter of What's in a Name?, and don't forget to tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer:** Hahaha. As if. (I wish.)

* * *

Xigbar. Number II. The Freeshooter. Braig.

I had many names, but I'd all but forgotten about the last one. It had been replaced by the much more suitable 'Nobody', but that was okay. It was a weak name anyway, weak because I had been weak when I used it, when I let – no, when I _asked_ – the darkness to take over my heart, making me what I was now, what I (despite Xemnas' schemes) might always be. It didn't really bother me (how could it? I couldn't feel, after all), but it did mean that I had a lot of time on my hands. When it seems like your non-existence is going to last forever, you start looking for ways to pass the time. Although shooting things was fun, even I got bored with that eventually. Maybe that was why I went to the beach that day. Maybe that was why my un-life took the turn it did.

The sun was just beginning to set, the colors spilling out from the sky onto the water. The poetic beauty that the scene had completely escaped me as my boots kicked up sand, my hood down (for once) and my striped hair spilling over it and onto my back. This stretch of the beach was deserted, the closest human sound the distant voice of a woman.

"Priscilla! Priscilla! It's getting late! Say good-night to Mr. Dolphin and come inside!"

"Coming!" Ignoring the form of the young girl and the sleek shape that I assumed to be Mr. Dolphin, I moved further down the beach before finally hitting the sand, tucking my legs beneath me and watching the sinking sun with feigned interest. This had been a stupid idea – why was I even here? Snippets of a conversation momentarily forgotten swirled through my head, unbidden but not entirely unwelcome.

"_There has been some commotion in the waters of this world." Standing before a detailed diagram of the worlds, Xemnas pointed at one of them as he addressed the three Nobodies in the room. "They know little of Heartless there, but you can see the close proximity this world has to Atlantica and Port Royal. I believe the creature causing the commotion to be a very large Heartless specimen. It should merit an equally massive heart. Consider taking this mission in addition to your other missions. It is not especially pressing, as we do not know that it is, in fact, a Heartless, but the reward will be worth it."_

_From the other side of the room, Vexen raised an eyebrow. "Reward?" Shooting a glance at Xaldin, who only grunted, Vexen continued. "A…_personal_… reward, or a reward that benefits us all?" Xemnas gave him a disapproving look._

"_It will benefit us all, Number Four. It will help us reach our goal." Feeling his skin prickle under the Superior's stare, the Chilly Academic nodded hastily._

"_Of course." After that, the meeting had closed, but no one had gone to the world on any sort of hunt. It had been rumored that they were preparing massive weapons to fend off a ship of monstrous creatures, but even then, no one wanted to take on the extra load. Selfish to the last, all of them._

I leaned backwards, my hands holding me up as I stared into the sky. It was dark blue, like the ocean depths – depths that held something both great and terrible. Depths that did not seem to mind acting innocent even as they nurtured pure darkness.

Letting my eye shut, I let myself fall on the sand, and soon I, too, was submerged – though only in sleep. Maybe that was why I didn't notice the curious tentacle that was poking and prodding my foot until it grabbed on.

Jerked awake, I swore at my foolishness, twisting as the tentacle dragged me into mid-air. I wasn't scared as I dangled upside down (being a master of gravity, not to mention not having emotions). The tentacle was wrapped tightly around me, pinning one arm fully against my side and constricting so that I couldn't breathe.

My long eye widened, however, at the sight of the creature beneath me. It could have been a Heartless (though the stench of rotting flesh from its mouth said otherwise), or it could have just been a massive sea monster, but whatever it was, it was massive. The tentacle that was holding me so far above the ground wasn't even fully out of the water! Twisting, I tried to get a general idea of where the rest of the creature was; my vision was getting blurry, and as I couldn't teleport or open a dark portal, I had very few options left.

Summoning a gun into my free hand, I winced as I attempted to get a good shot, slightly panicked as the tentacle began to whip me through the air. It was then that I noticed the figure on the sand. He was staring at me, firm in the great creature's tentacle, but no fear, no panic, no regret, no _anything_ crossed his face.

I pulled the trigger and fell to the sand.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! In case you aren't sure, the world Xigbar is in is Junon from FFVII. I was going to use the boss you fight for the monster (I think it's the Bottomswell?), but as it doesn't have tentacles, I had to use something else. Cookies for you if you know what it is, I left a few (two) tiny hints. Hurray for cameo appearances by Mr. Dolphin (and Priscilla, too)! Don't forget to tell me what you think (although if it's a flame, then keep it to yourself. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, people.)


	2. Realizations

**Chapter Two: **Realizations

**Author's Note:** I'm so, so sorry this took so long! School has been sucking – a _lot_ – and on top of that and the ACT, I was sick again. I'm still coughing and am losing my voice, but I'm feeling better.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, as much as I wish I did. Although when I was sick last week, I had a dream that Xemnas and Saix were watching me do my math homework. Not that it matters…

* * *

My head hurt. As I lifted an arm to press my hand against my forehead, I realized that the rest of my body hurt, too. I could still feel _pain_, of course – it was a natural reaction, telling me that if I kept falling onto the sand from high in the air that something would probably be damaged_._ Groaning, I opened my eye, wondering idly at the fact that my eye-patch was still on before my mind began to work.

Where was I? How did I get here? What had happened? Who had that man been? There had definitely been a man, though now that I thought about it, he was barely pushing twenty-four. It had been hard to tell, though – normally the young had some sort of light in their eyes, but he had been so… blank.

Just like a Nobody.

The realization hit me hard, and I groaned again, not used to having realizations early in the morning when it felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I sat up, reaching back to tighten my ponytail. If he still had human form, then he was possibly Organization-worthy. After all, it meant he had possessed a strong heart as a Somebody, and those with strong hearts often had powers they didn't realize they possessed. Then again, he would have realized it by now. Why hadn't he used it – whatever _it_ was – while I was being attacked?

Oh, right. He was a Nobody, with no emotions. Or he had known something that I didn't.

"Shit." Resisting the urge to kick something, I moved to the edge of the bed. I wanted to get out of here, but I couldn't just open up a dark portal and leave – not if this guy was what I thought he was. Besides, I wanted to know what had happened on that beach, and unless I sought out Mr. Dolphin (who was probably down in Atlantica telling all his fish buddies about my 'accident'), the strange man was the only one who could tell me.

Luckily for me, he chose that moment to enter the room, whistling.

Now, I've never been one to attack first and ask questions later. I was a SNIPER, for Pete's sake. I could watch from above as my enemies plotted, find out who was truly dangerous, and take them out. However, I was sore, confused, and captive in a room that smelled like mold. When the man walked in, whistling something that was vaguely familiar, I snapped.

One gun was summoned to my hand and the barrel was against his neck before he could blink.

"What the hell?!" Up close, I could see that I was right, and realized with something that could have been satisfaction (if I could feel such a thing) that he sounded panicked. He obviously didn't realize that I was a Nobody and that he didn't need to pretend.

"Where am I?" I growled in response, forcing him to look at me. Definitely in his early twenties, with dirty blonde hair that was in a ridiculous style and blue-green eyes – like the ocean. He appeared to be in decent shape, lightly muscled and somewhat tan, like someone who had spent a lot of time swimming. He even _smelled_ like the ocean. He was holding a knife against my throat.

Oops.

"Put the gun down and I'll tell you." His voice was tense, and with the part of my mind that didn't seem to understand what was going on, I noticed a steady drip in the background. I must have been in worse shape than I thought for him to have gotten the upper hand.

"Put the knife down and I'll put the gun down," I retorted, the lie slipping all too easily off my tongue.

"Listen, dude, I didn't haul your ass off the beach so that you could kill me." I was dimly aware of the dripping getting louder. Had he left the bath running?

"Look, kid, I don't think you know – " My words were broken off as the water hit me. Taken off-guard, my gun faded back to darkness as I focused on finding my way to air. Even Nobodies had to breathe – just like we had to eat, sleep, and take medicine if we were sick. My senses of up and down were impeccable, but there was no air. The current was tossing me around, hindering any progress I was making. Flailing, I chose to look for an escape from the room. The door had been slammed shut by the water, and there weren't any windows. What the hell kind of freak flood was this?

That was when I noticed that _he_ was leaning against the wall, watching me with an expression that was a mixture of interest and triumph. Noticing that I was watching him, he grinned lazily and waved one hand. The water began to calm down, sinking into the floor.

He was a water elemental. Of course. That would explain the smell of salt-water that seemed to ooze from his pores; the ocean was probably great for practicing. If this sort of thing happened often, it also explained why the room smelled like mold. He had talent, that much was obvious – hell, he could breathe the stuff. But I was Number II of the Organization, and I wasn't going to this punk kid win – not today.

Apparently he'd relaxed (after all, he hadn't let me drown). When the water was around my waist, I took my chance, teleporting behind him and hanging from the ceiling, my hands grabbing his arms before he could do anything. "You're good, kid. But I'm better."

I had expected a cocky retort about almost drowning _indoors_ and was surprised when his knees buckled.

Oh shit.

This boy (no, not a boy – he had too much power to be a boy, but he wasn't quite a man) was definitely new to this life. He hadn't been able to control himself, and it had caught up with him. Shuddering, he slumped down further. I let go, letting him kneel as I returned to the floor in front of him. Xemnas wouldn't like it if I brought him to the World That Never Was half dead.

"Come on, kid." What had I gotten myself into?


	3. Explanations

**Chapter Three: **Explanations

**Author's Note:** I'm so sorry about not updating! I was busy with school, and then I was just sort of… unmotivated, I guess. However, this is a long chapter, so you're in luck. Next time it takes me this long, I need you guy to hit me, okay? If you've stuck with me through the wait or if you're just starting the story, thank you so much. It means a lot to me.

**Disclaimer:** Ahahahahahahahahaha. Me, own Kingdom Hearts? You're funny.

* * *

When I woke up, it became blatantly obvious that I was going to have more bruises from water crashing into me with such intense force. It also became obvious that it was _cold_. I felt as though I had been sleeping beneath a leaky faucet with a window open.

A drop of water hit me, and I decided that now was as good a time as any to get up. Pulling back the loose strands of my hair, I sighed as I looked at the poor excuse for a veiling that was currently allowing even more water to drip on me. It looked like this room, at least, wasn't fit for walking upside-down. Then again, judging by what I'd seen yesterday, I was lucky there was a ceiling at all.

FLASHBACK:

"Come on, kid." Hauling the surprisingly dry water-manipulator to his feet, I cursed the clinging wet fabric of my coat as I attempted to support him. Groaning, the blond didn't resist, though I could tell that he wasn't sure what had happened.

"You overdid it a bit. Relax, I ain't gonna shoot ya when you're like this." Laughing weakly, the sound reminding me of a gurgling brook, the young man leaned his head back, blue-green eyes out of focus as he attempted some humor. "Th-that's c-c-c-comforting."

"Easy, little dude, just chill. I'm gonna find a dry place where you can rest. Then we can continue our 'conversation'." The younger man nodded slightly, struggling to keep both his balance and his eyes open as he let me lead him out of the room. He directed me to a room down the hall with a shaky hand, but getting there was nothing short of trouble. The floor creaked and complained with every step, the signs of massive water damage too numerous to ignore. The walls were cracked, the ceiling bowed, and various items were strewn about. It was like the inside of a wrecked ship so desolate that even the rats had moved on.

In contrast, the room at the end of the hall was in surprisingly good shape. It was painted teal, with blue curtains and blankets on a small bed. There wasn't much in it, but it seemed… real, somehow, like everything else in the house was just a bad dream.

It was then that I realized that this kid was still clinging onto life with both hands, and that bringing him back to the Organization was going to be harder than I thought. He probably didn't fully understand – probably still thought he could feel. Why else would he fix up part of an abandoned house?

I ordered the kid to strip down and get into bed, and said that I was going to look for more blankets. I went back to the room I had been in first, attempting to wring out my coat before searching for blankets elsewhere. The few I found were thin and full of holes, but they were enough – I brought them back to the room, silently wondering if I should leave and get Vexen. He knew more about this sort of thing than I did, and ice and water were very close together… but no. This kid was _my_ recruit, and I wasn't going to let Vexen anywhere near him unless it was absolutely necessary.

Besides, just because I had seen what he could do didn't mean the others would accept him. Not in this condition, anyway. I had to keep them from thinking that old Number II was going crazy. They'd kill me if they didn't think I was useful, and while I was good in a fight, I couldn't handle the whole Organization at once.

Stomping back into the room, I raised an eyebrow. The kid was just sort of sprawled out, wearing something that resembled beaten up shorts, and was already asleep. I covered him in blankets and left, knowing there was nothing else I could do at the moment other than try and find something that wasn't soaking wet to wear.

After finding a pair of frayed black slacks and a gray shirt, I left the house for a bit. I had to get to know the area. The house – well, more like a shack – was hidden in a remote part of the beach near the cliffs. Large rocks seemed to form a circle around it, shielding it from outsiders but probably making a death trap if a fierce storm decided to fill up the area. I could still hear the ocean in the distance, even through the screaming cries of the sea birds.

Deciding that the location was secure, I went back inside and, having nothing else to do, slept.

END FLASHBACK

"Damn it, stop dripping!" I swore, glaring up at the offending ceiling with one golden eye before getting up. It was my third day in this world, and I felt like I'd never be dry again. Huffing down the hallway, I paused outside the door to the kid's room before going in.

One blue-green eye stared at me from beneath a pile of blankets, widening slightly as he took in my borrowed outfit. Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I feel better now."

"Hmph. Take it easy anyway – you may feel better, but you're not. Don't get cocky, kid." Popping down on his bed, not feeling threatened by the currently pale blond, I reclined against the wall and looked at him, waiting.

"…Yes?" Almost annoyingly cheerful, the young man cocked his head to one side, keeping his eyes locked on me.

"You gonna tell me what happened on the beach?" He shrugged.

"The Kraken doesn't like anyone but its master. It comes lazing up in the shallows a lot – that's when the Heartless start acting up in the deeper parts of the ocean. Unlike most of the worlds, all the oceans are easily connected – that's why the same fish can be found in most of the worlds."

I decided not to ask how he knew all of that.

"When he grabbed you, he was either going to crush you or toss you away. I wanted to help, but he would've got me, too. When you shot him, he dropped you. You hit the ground pretty hard."

"And then?" I ignored the emotion I saw in his eyes, refusing to even identify it. It wasn't real, anyway.

"I brought you here. The Kraken was sulking."

Nodding, I rubbed the back of my head, wincing slightly as me fingers ran over a bump. "Thanks, I guess."

"My turn." He said, smiling for a minute before becoming serious. "What happened yesterday? I can't really remember."

"You tried to drown me. Indoors."

"Oh." Smiling sheepishly, he paused before sitting up sharply, frowning. "You _did_ have a gun pointed at me."

"I was… panicked."

He smiled again, and I resisted the urge to just knock him out and drag him back to the World That Never Was. I could make it easier on myself – but he still didn't understand what had happened, and that was crucial. "What happened when the Heartless attacked you?"

He stared at me. "Wha…? How did you…?"

I sighed, stubbornly looking away from the kid as I began to speak. "You were attacked. It hurt – more than anything. You passed out, and when you woke up, they weren't looking at you anymore. It still hurt, but it was just an ache now." I looked up, fixing my single eye on the ceiling. "You felt power, but that was all. You had memories, but when you looked in the mirror and saw that you looked different – even just a little bit, but enough – you didn't start to scream. You knew you should have been afraid, should have been curious, but you weren't. You couldn't be happy, be sad, because there was nothing. There still is nothing." I tore my gaze away from the ceiling to look at him. "It won't come back. Your heart is lost to the darkness, and you are nothing but an empty shell."

"No!" The cry ripped past his lips, appearing to startle even him. Those blue-green eyes lied to me as they told me he was angry, afraid, and beginning to despair.

"You're in denial. I'd done the same. But without a heart, you can't feel. All ya can do is remember. Because you had a strong heart, you still have human form. Others weren't so lucky, and they're under the command of those of us who can remember."

He shook, eyes wide, his lips mouthing the same word over and over again. "No, no, no…"

"We're called Nobodies. I'm part of a group that is trying to regain our hearts. You're strong enough to join us, kid."

That got his attention. He stopped shaking, swallowed, and spoke. "And if I refuse?"

My smile was grim, my voice even. "You will be eliminated."

"Oh."

It was silent for a moment, and then I spoke. "What was your name?"

"Myde."

"You're Demyx now. We each have an 'x' added into our names." Demyx… it suited him, somehow, though I didn't know why.

"What about you?" It was a simple enough question, but I paused. Which name did he want?

"…Xigbar."

Demyx nodded, his blue-green eyes lit up. A slight smile crossed his features. "I'll let you know my answer then, Xigbar."

I nodded in response and left, leaving him to his thoughts. He knew the deal. He knew the consequences.

All I needed to know was his answer.


End file.
